Let me tell you the real reason why I hate groove & alcohol. I was raped when I was drunk.

Here’s my story
Please don’t judge me.

Years ago, my friend and I used to go to this place twice a month on weekends. We would just drink and have fun, nothing hectic.

One weekend my friend stood me up, so i bought drinks & sat alone.
A guy I know from the neighborhood moved over to my table and we had chat, a few laughs and a few drinks. I didn’t mind coz he was a familiar face and I felt safe around him.

After a few drinks, ngavalelisa and told him I’m getting an Uber, he said I shouldn’t worry, he’s also leaving so he’s gonna drive me home.

Instead of taking me home he drove straight to his place. I asked him whatsup, he said he wanted to take his bank card coz he bored and was thinking of going back to groove and he doesn’t have anymore money.

I had a nagging feeling that something was off but I dismissed it as “ag you’re being paranoid” He invited me inside, I thought somebody was there coz the light were on. When we got inside, no one was there. Just us.

I didn’t even sit down coz I thought we would just get the card and leave. He went to the kitchen, opened a fridge and took out more drinks. Hawu kanti asisahambi futhi? All of a sudden he says he’s not going back, he’s tired blah blah. Ai ok ke, I took a can coz bengingafuni ukumphoxa. Big mistake!!!

After 30 minutes I asked him to take me home, he refused. Said he would take me home the following day. I said fukk it, I’m getting an Uber. He got up, locked the doors and took the keys. Kwadamuka utshwala ke manje, kwashuba.

His eyes looked like he was a monster, an animal ready to kill. He overpowered me, he violated me. I was so shocked, I didn’t scream, I didn’t cry, I just lay there and let him do whatever he wanted to do to me. I started praying silently

When he was done, he took me home.

I was so ashamed, I didn’t tell anyone. I was gonna let him get away with it

Until a week later when he showed up at my work place with his buddies. I was livid

They started laughing and one of his buddies gave him a fistbump like I was just another girl on his “hitlist”

I left work crying and went straight to my brother and told him everything. I asked him to take to the police station to open a case and he said no.
No one would believe me coz there was no evidence. I felt helpless, hopeless

He asked me to show him where the guy lived, I thought he was gonna confront him and rough him up a bit, but he didn’t do anything.

Until the 31st of December that year, we had a new year’s eve braai at home and my brother wasn’t there. We thought maybe he left with his friends to celebrate new year’s somewhere else. 12 o’clock came, we lit fireworks and gave each other hugs. He came back later, and gave me a long hug. Like he was squeezing the life out of me. He looked different, he wasn’t smiling as usual or celebrating.

The following day we heard that my rapist was shot and he died.

I never went to any type of “groove” ever again in my life and I never will.

And I get angry when someone says sh!t like “why didn’t she scream?” Or “she’s lying, why didn’t she tell anyone?”

We behave differently when we’re in shock

In the next 24hrs I’m deleting this. It’s a part of my life I wish to bury along with him