There will be moments where I catch myself forgetting. I wake up from my bed in a panic and notice a total stranger lying next to me. Sometimes you’re even awake at the time, just looking at your phone not reacting to me. I think to myself ‘What is this person doing in my home and why are they acting as if I’m not even here’. I notice you before I notice that this isn’t even my same headboard or my same dresser or nightstand or the desk and computer missing from the side of the wall. In those moments I also seem to forget that I don’t exactly ‘live’ here anymore, at least in the traditional sense of that word. I think that is part of it though, forgetting every once in a while. I think that I’m getting better at remembering. The one thing I can never force myself to remember is how I stopped being alive. Then I think to myself that that is probably for the best.

I think I got used to the idea of it fairly easily, easier than I would expect anyway. Nothing really prepares you for coming to terms with your death after the fact, though I guess there’s little else to worry about on this end of it. But I really think that you were a big help with that. Not everyone would be so welcoming to having me as a roommate. Most would have been scared away and others would have tried to get rid of me. I’m sure some have even tried if I could recall other people visiting the house.

You on the other hand have been kinder to me than any ghost would expect. When you woke up or felt the bed shake you’d always tell me good morning, regardless of it really being in the morning, And when you remembered to you would always tell me good night. You always made sure to say hello to me when you came home and goodbye when you left.  And every time you did so you always used my name. I’m sure you were just having fun, I could never tell how sure you were that I was even listening, but I truly think that helped me remember myself. And I think having me around gave you someone to talk to, even if you thought it was just to yourself.

There were times were I tried to communicate back. I’ve heard of ghosts having a voice but after trying long and hard to speak like I’ve always done, I’m fairly sure don’t have one, at least one you or I could hear. I didn’t manage to flicker the lights a few times. Never for more than two or three seconds. Another time without even really trying I appeared to you for a split second in a mirror. though rather than a good way to communicate, that really seemed to scare you more than anything. So I avoided doing that.

I think we were on better terms after I had changed the radio station for you. You had the radio on while you were washing dishes when only after the first few notes you let out a groan and muttered silently “I hate this song”. Before you had a chance to dry your hands I had changed the station. You had a puzzled look on your face for a second, then shrugged it off and thanked me for it. I didn’t think there was much reason to thank me considering that I hated that song too.

After that, you started talking to me more directly. Sometimes when you got home you would tell me stories from your day. You walk into the house and ask if I was here. I always was, I couldn’t not be. I also couldn’t answer back, but it was nice that you asked. You also started to share with me some of your favorite movies and TV shows. You would through them on and leave it running even when you left. You also started reading whatever book you were reading out loud since you figured that was better than looking over your shoulder or leaving a book out a flipping the page every ten minutes or so. I’m sure some of it was just an excuse for things you wanted to do anyway, but still, you were good company.

I think that maybe if we had met while I was still around physically then we could have been friends. I don’t recall having many friends, but then again I have trouble remembering many details of my life. There are instances, fleeting moments where something triggers a memory. None of them were ever so detailed. none until the one that made me remember how I died.

It was in the evening. Someone came to the door and you answered it, like I remember doing. A voice that I’ll never forget asked if someone by some name was staying here. You said no like I remember saying, before telling them to leave. They asked you if maybe your roommate had someone over. Without thinking about it, we had both made the same mistake. we told them that we lived alone. they apologized for the inconvenience and left without putting much of a fight. But I remember them, even without being able to see their face. And I knew that they would be back tonight.

I don’t know why they would pick the same house twice, but I knew that for you to live I have to do something. I tried to flicker the lights but I struggled even to dim them. I tried to appear in the mirror, but no matter what I did you didn’t see me. I hoped that I could warn you through the radio but I couldn’t even move a dial on it. It was like seeing them and remembering them took some strength from me.

Before I could do anything the night had come. A few hours had passed since you had said ‘goodnight’ to me and went to bed. I grew anxious as the house grew quiet. Then I somehow felt my heart drop. a sound was coming from the front door. The sound of it being picked open. I was frozen in fear as I heard each fidget from the knob. Then there was the click sound of a lock being undone followed by the slow crick of the front door slowly opening.

There they stood as they. I never saw them from this angle, I was still in bed. But I know they must have looked the same way they do now. A smile that seemed childlike and a knife no longer than his wrist. There was nothing else I knew I could do but watch, still, I had to try everything. As they crept through the house I tried flickering the lights and tossing things at them to no avail.

They had managed to silently make it to the hallway to the bedroom door with as much noise as me. Slowly, they eased open the door and inched their way into the knife first.

There was nothing left to try but this. I put every thought I had into this. I pushed every thought of doubt I had and focused on what I wanted, no, what I needed to do. I put all the energy I had behind me and slammed the door. The force behind it was so great that as their hand was still passing the door the slam had separated some of their fingers from the hand holding the knife, both of which clattered to the ground on the other side of the door.

If the slamming of the door didn’t wake you up their yell of agony surely did. They wretched on the floor for a few seconds in an attempt to pick out the knife and their finger with the hand they had fallen from before scrambling down the hallway. Before they made it to the door I caught them staring into the dining room mirror. Through the reflection, I saw their eyes meet mine, and over their face washed a look of fear that made me feel as though I towered over them.

With my newfound strength, I overload the light above them, busting it and sending a confetti of glass to rain over their face. In that split second in the light, they looked paler than a ghost. I then caused the radio to make a screeching, whaling noise. It was that that sent them flying out the door like a bat out of hell.

You had called the police that night. They showed up the next day and collected the fingers and the knight. Together it was more than enough to ID and arrest them for mine and several other murders. They all congratulated you for your help and bravery. You thanked them but from the look on your face, you didn’t really feel comfortable taking any credit. It was fine. I figured you didn’t think it was a good idea to tell them that a poltergeist was the one to thank. You thank me though, and if I could say it I would tell you you don’t need to.

Sometime after all that you start bringing home boxes and packing your stuff. I don’t blame you, it’s a lot to deal with. You let me know that you’re planning on moving on from here. I’m happy for you, and I don’t mind at all. In fact, if I could tell you I would let you know that I’m moving on as well. We both say that we were glad to have met each other and traded our goodbyes. I say to you that although this is goodbye I’m sure we’ll meet again someday, and maybe then I can finally formally introduce myself. I’m sure we’ll have a lot to catch up on.